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God Strikes Down “Touchdown Jesus”

June 15, 2010

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites [are]: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Matt. 6:5,6

You know that if this happened to a mosque or, even worse, to a pagan place of worship, Christian fundamentalists would shriek in glee, yelling that God had struck down the heathens, glory be!

But when one of their own monstrosities — and this one really was — is struck by lightning and burns to the ground? Merely an unfortunate accident.

Jesus Statue Fire Damages Estimated at $700,0o0

MONROE — Charred remnants remained this morning, June 15, of the large Jesus statue iconic to Interstate 75 that was destroyed following an apparent lightning strike during a thunderstorm late Monday night.

The Lawrence Bishop Music Theater at Solid Rock Church on Union Road endured smoke damage, according to officials. Damages to the King of Kings statue and the theater were estimated to be around $700,000, said Monroe Fire Chief Mark Neu.

"Touchdown Jesus"

The huge image outside the Solid Rock Church in Ohio was destroyed on Monday night, June 14, 2010, by what people used to call (ironically) an “act of God.” Lightning struck the gigantic wood, steel, styrofoam, and fibreglass statue and it completely burned.

Wonder what Jesus would have thought of the very existence of this thing? Check out the quote at the top of this post. This thing doesn’t look like these Christians were “entering their closet to pray to their Father in secret.” This thing looks very much like they were trying very hard to be “seen of men.” And what did Jesus call people like that? Hypocrites.

[Which of course they are. A friend of mine who lived in this area until recently told me about this statue, and how the same men who worshipped so importantly at this church visited the porn dens and prostitutes in operation just a few blocks away from it. He told me this as an explanation for why he knew the porn and prostitution industries in this location would never disappear while the fundamentalists were so prominent.]

But apart from the hypocrisy, there’s that other little matter. Read these quotes from that article:

Also gathered along Union Road were Franklin twins and storm chasers Levi and Seth Walsh, who said they were out in the thunderstorm when they heard about the fire through a Facebook update.

“It sent goosebumps through my whole body because I am a believer,” said Levi Walsh, 29. “Of all the things that could have been struck, I just think that that would be protected. … It’s something that’s not supposed to happen, Jesus burning,” he said. “I had to see it with my own eyes.”

“I can’t believe Jesus was struck,” said his brother, who noted the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched. “It’s the last thing I expected to happen.”

Excuse me? Jesus was struck? Don’t you guys mean an image of Jesus was struck? Guys — this wasn’t Jesus.

But the attitude of these guys and anyone in that church who wanted this image put up appears to be very reminiscent of some pesky little verses we find in the book of Isaiah:

Who hath formed a god, or molten a graven image [that] is profitable for nothing? …  The carpenter stretcheth out [his] rule; he marketh it out with a line; he fitteth it with planes, and he marketh it out with the compass, and maketh it after the figure of a man, according to the beauty of a man; that it may remain in the house.  … And the residue thereof he maketh a god, [even] his graven image: he falleth down unto it, and worshippeth [it], and prayeth unto it, and saith, Deliver me; for thou [art] my god. – Isaiah 44:10, 13, 17

Well, everyone. Behold thy God!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Pieter B permalink
    June 15, 2010 7:33 pm

    I read that they’re planning on re-building it. Canst thee not take a hint, my children?

    Has anyone taken a photo of Crispy Christ with the untouched Hustler sign yet?

    • June 16, 2010 8:23 am

      Not that I’ve seen, yet. I don’t know how successful anyone would be, trying to post such a photo. Though I should look through Flickr to see if it might be there.

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